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Dave Thurman (1:04 pm)

With recruiting in the home stretch and Buckeye fans understandably anxious, I have devised a foolproof strategy for JT and the staff.  Here is what they need to say and do in regard to the players left on the board:

Morgan Moses - Simple.  Tress just needs to tell Morgan that he was in his backyard in Columbus when one of his bushes caught on fire but didn't burn up.  Then a voice from heaven said, "Moses must come to Ohio State.  Tell him the Lord wants him in scarlet and gray."  How could the young man possibly turn down a call from above?

Seantrel Henderson - Send Orlando Pace to visit him, carrying a #75 jersey with Henderson's name stitched on it.  Tell him that after his brilliant college career that number will be retired in honor of the two greatest players to ever wear it at Ohio State.

Matt James - This one is tougher, but I think the key is sending him a little chart that compares the records of Ohio State and Notre Dame since 2000, side by side.  Indicate bowl destinations each year as well with a reminder, "Do you want to spend January in South Bend or out west in Arizona or California?" That might work.
Chaz Green - The big guy may be worried about the winter weather since Tampa in February is a lot more desirable than Columbus.  So Tress needs to fly his private jet down to Florida (he does have one, right?) and promise to build a "Green-house" for Chaz to live in, complete with tropical plants, a beach and surfing pool.  Oh, and pretty coeds as well.

Christian Bryant - Easy.  Compare the college careers of former Tarbloodoers Donte Whitner and Tedd Ginn Jr. with that of Cordale "Judas" Scott, who opted to leave the pipeline and paid the price.  JT should wear a three piece pinstripe suit as he makes this presentation, then close by saying, "Nobody leaves the family without consequences!"

Dominique Brown - Supposedly we want Brown to play wideout or tight end.  So how about sending a five minute highlight tape with all the big catches our tight ends have made the past couple of years?  Might be interesting to see how many times Ballard's Rose Bowl catch can be shown in a five minute time span.

Jordan Hicks - Another easy one.  Have  AJ Hawk, James Laurinaitis, Bobby Carpenter, Matt Wilhelm, Nail Diggs, Andy Katzenmoyer, Chris Speilman, and other ex OSU linebackers make phone calls reminding him about the real Linebacker U!

Well, that's my strategy for bringing home a great finish this year.  Trouble is the Bucks will wind up with more players than scholarships.  No problem.  Tress can then call Nick Saban down at Alabama for advice on how to solve the oversigning dilemma.  And with another top ten class everyone in Columbus can rest well...until spring practice starts!
 


Comments

dms19
01/23/2010 13:03

Pretty funny stuff. Now someone needs to photoshop a picture of Tressel's face on Moses!

Reply
Brent
01/23/2010 14:15

If Cordale Scott doesn't give Bryant an idea of where he should go, I don't know what will!

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#7
01/24/2010 06:39

the sad thing is that most of this would probably actually work.

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BuckeyeBrutus
01/24/2010 13:44

mark it down now: henderson, moses, bryant, and hicks. the buckeyes are closing in style!

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